Q&A with Amelia Spitler
A conversation with producer Amelia Spitler on her short film, Ex Disposer, a collaboration with filmmaker Daniel Ferrer.
How did you first get into filmmaking?
I was first obsessed with celebrity culture. In 2002, middle-school me knew more about Bennifer than I knew my multiplication tables. As I grew up, my interests adapted past the publicity portion: I started watching movies. A lot of them, categorically, with intention. That’s when I first thought about movies as an interest of mine, and now I’m here, actively making them.
What was your creative process for this film?
I had recently graduated from film school. My weekdays were spent covering scripts at my internship. I read script after script from professional screenwriters and recognizable names, but none of their scripts impacted me the way Daniel’s fifteen pages did. Daniel and I met at film school [Montclair State University] and he was starting his senior year at this time. Initially, I read his script as a friend but I couldn’t ignore the potency of his story - the power in Daniel’s craft was bubbling at the surface.
As a queer woman, my experiences might not similar to Andy’s. Yet I resonate with him. To me, EX DISPOSER is about Andy’s daily battle to better himself against massive odds. He consistently is reminded of the worst thing he’s ever done to someone close to him. He wants to fix what cannot be fixed. But he tries. On top of this, he has crippling mental health issues - none that he’s properly addressing. He wants to go back to a time when he channeled his pain into a placebo: drumming. It was never about being the best, it was about being included. When that was threatened, when he’s scrutinized for not taking care of himself, he spirals. It seems like he cannot get out of it. I’ve been Andy. I think I still am Andy. Underneath the labels of “toxic masculinity” and “mental health issues,” Andy’s story is one we all face. I wanted to produce this film to exemplify that - to nurture this theme into a story that was nothing like “angsty punk boys with rage issues.” It’s so much more. So much beneath the surface. Proof that you should never judge a character. That’s the impact I wanted to bring: that this story is for everyone.
Film production inherently comes with unexpected challenges, but EX DISPOSER was a beast I never expected. First, this film is Daniel’s undergrad thesis film: a lot of the crew are friends, a lot of resources were available. However, we were making a film that had to exceed the limits of the classroom to be successful. We had to push our shooting dates from February to June. We had to find money from our own pockets to make the film happen. It was a balancing act. Our alma mater wasn’t able to assist us past a certain point, unfortunately. A lot of the budget came from our families - something I will never do again. I was wildly ignorant when starting this film.
But it was my first time producing a film. I just followed my intuition with a lot of choices, and luckily, most paid off. A lot of successes - like all our locations - came from direct action: we called around and were honest about the film we were making. A lot of great people understood and supported us. When it came to post-production, I reached out in a similar way - our intentions are good, our film is great, and we’re honest people behind the film. For example, Arianna Shining Star of Apache Color was a high bet for us. We had no connections to her, why would she want to work with us? Yet, she did. As John Waters says, a “no” is for free - you never know unless you ask.
A lot of this film was trial and error. It was a learning experience, for sure. This is the first film of mine that is absolutely finished because I had to learn what a successful post-production process looks like - knowledge I wouldn’t have acquired without blindly going for it. This film happened in a vacuum - we couldn’t have done this without film school but we had to act outside the limitations of the academic structure. I had to adapt, I had to think on my feet, I had to reach out to every resource I had for help. I never would have known I could have achieved so much without this film.
It’s important because it’s not about having mental illness as an artist but how one deals with their mental health as both a person and an artist. For Andy, he uses his fears, anxiety, and pain to drum as fast and loud as he can. But he’s obviously not coping with his problems in a healthy way. He goes to therapy but isn’t an active participant. We can see that he doesn’t have healthy skills to address his pain. Using duct tape to cover your wounds does not help them heal. He is drawn to an environment he physically cannot stand being at because he believes he has to be there, as if he will only be accepted if he plays with Disposer. He’s incredibly threatened by most of his peers. When he harms his best friend, he runs away without forming a coherent sentence. He reacts instantly over taking deliberate actions. All his reactions continually harm him - like layer after layer of ash, harder to wipe clean. If he could learn how to manage his suffering, if he could take small steps for help, he could be better.
Our journey with Andy is one of distress - we see him drowning yet there’s nothing we can do. That’s relatable to us. What differentiates us from him is we acknowledge how his suffering does not make him a good artist. We don’t actually know if Andy considers himself an artist. What are his intentions as an artist? Does he have any? Can we consider him a “good artist” when all he does is loudly bang drums without rhythm or craft? His mental illness bubbles up in frenetic ways, and in the basement of a punk show, that is a powerful commodity. But knowing the suffering Andy has for every moment he isn’t pounding a drum, it’s obvious how unhealthy his role as Disposer’s drummer is for him in this story. We all are suffering every day. It’s how we seek help that separates us from Andy. Only by addressing his suffering directly will he ever get better.
What projects are you working on next, and how can people who are interested best support or follow you.
I just wrapped my third film as Production Coordinator on an independent feature called MABEL (dir. Nicholas Ma) in Syracuse, NY. I'm now on my second job as a Production Secretary for Netflix's RUSTIN (dir. George C. Wolfe) in Washington, DC. My first time as Production Secretary was earlier this year on Fox 21/Hulu's DOPESICK, which filmed in my hometown of Richmond, VA you can see it October 13th. So, lots of production happening that will be available to stream soon!
Moving forward, I'm looking forward to locking in my next Producer role with filmmaker Savannah Magruder on her upcoming short film I'm very excited to work with another queer filmmaker.
I'm a writer as well and have spent the last year developing my craft. I'm excited for when I'm ready to direct a script I've written. Website: ameliaspitler.com Instagram: @ameliaspitler.
